How tantra changed my life and can improve yours as well.
“So…How is your sex life?”
(Don’t you just love it when people get straight to the point?). If your answer to this questions is: “Wonderful and satisfying, wouldn’t change a thing!”, then you just might have ended up on the wrong blog (although to be absolutely sure, you might still want to read on). If, however, you answer lies more along the lines of,
“Okay-ish, I suppose…” or “What sex life???”
then you have definitely come to the right place.
A word of caution: this information could change your life forever…
All you need to do is keep an open mind…
The sexual ‘norm’
It must have been some 10 years ago that I was watching the Oprah show… She had a sex therapist visiting and someone had done research on how often people have sex. The answers ranged from 1-3 times a week to once every two months or less. (At that point in time, I recall that in my own relationship we had hit an all time low of having sex once every 1-2 months, and a nagging feeling that sex could be different, but with no clue how to change it.)
So they asked a few people in the audience to share their experiences. One woman stood up and said that she had sex at least once a day, preferably more. The look on people’s faces (including the therapist’s face and probably mine as well) were priceless. Several times – A DAY?! I’m like: How? But also: Why? And at the same time: I don’t believe it. It’s not normal. Must be a nymphomaniac or a sex worker. This information does not fit into my perception of reality, it cannot be true. La-la-la-la… hands on ears, blocking it out – now.
Fast forward a few years.
Would you believe me, if I told you that it is actually VERY possible to have and enjoy sex (with the same partner) 4-5 times a week for 1-2 hours at a time, in a relationship that has lasted for some 20 years?
You probably do not believe me. If you do, you are probably thinking, yeah, sure, perhaps that is possible if you don’t have children, but who could possible have that kind of time if you have kids. And what if I told you this IS also possible with one young child (or even more young children) in the family? Do I have your attention yet? Or did I just lose you completely because you think that I am lying or at the very least grossly exaggerating?
The big secret
Let me let you in on little secret (this may well be one of the best kept secrets on the planet). What nobody ever tells, is the truth about sex and how ‘standard’ sexual behaviour is robbing us of our life energy.
You know that initial honeymoon period when you are so much in love and just cannot keep your hands off each other? You just want to be together and have sex ALL THE TIME? How long does that last? 2 months? Half a year? Probably not a lot longer than that. Over the years the sex becomes more and more infrequent. Some settle for that, especially after the kids arrive on the scene. Others look for excitement and diversion elsewhere (chocolate, food, lover…) or with a new partner.
Here’s the secret – there is a REASON why sex becomes less interesting (and it is NOT that sex just becomes less important because you love each other in a more mature way or because you are too busy raising the kids). No, there are actually biological and physiological REASONS why having more sex makes you want to have less sex in the end. Seems contra-intuitive, doesn’t it?
The problem is not the sex. On the contrary, staying sexually active is crucial for getting and staying in touch with your life force and for having more energy. The problem is the orgasm. Or more accurately – the peak orgasm.
What is a peak orgasm? You may not even know this (I sure did not), but women’s bodies can have many, many different types of orgasm some of which may even last 20 minutes! (For you men the number is a bit smaller, but yes – you too can have different types of orgasms!). Some of these orgasms cost energy, while others create it.
Having 5-10 second peak orgasms (clitoral and vaginal in women, ejaculation in men) is just another way of throwing away your energy and life force. They happen, because the body is unable to contain all that pleasurable orgasmic life force energy and circulate it. “So what?”, you may say – “I have plenty of energy to go around”. Well, that’s not all (there’s always a twist, isn’t there?).
Not only is all that energy wasted, but in many people, the peak orgasm also creates a HANGOVER in the body that can last up to 21 DAYS, creating various SIDE EFFECTS, such as depression, moodiness, tiredness etc. Bet they did not tell you that when you learned about sexuality at home or at school (if they told you anything at all)!
The good news is that it is possible to learn to contain all that energy, tap into your life force and use it for being creative, for feeling alive and for being of service to others (instead of feeling grumpy, depressed and low on energy). AND as an extra bonus, you can learn to have completely new kinds of orgasms, which are WAY more pleasurable than those 5-10 second ones (I promise!).
So what do you say? Hard to believe? I would not believe it (either) unless I had felt it for myself. So, do not take my word for it. If you feel in any way drawn to this information, investigate it for yourself.
All the information you need can be found on the internet. The Free 21 Day Challenge Tantra App is a handy starting point. It just might be possible that your life will never be the same again. Don’t say I did not warn you…
P.S. You might also find this text by OSHO interesting, where he explains the difference between tantric sex and ‘normal’ sex, or… you could choose to dive into the world of tantra through an entertaining free story about a couple that experiences tantra for the first time…